i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
