I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
