he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
