She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
