I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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