I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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