wat bout pragnant strippers??
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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