Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
