do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
