NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
