I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
