Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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