I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
