tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
