so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
