I CAN MOONWALK!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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