My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
