the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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