I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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