my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
