5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
