we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
