She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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