i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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