Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
