ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
