I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
