Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
