Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
