im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
