i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
