He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I skipped work to stalk him.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
