I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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