I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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