Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
