last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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