so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
