My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
