The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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