dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
