yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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