im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
