i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
