ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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