i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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