Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So. Much. Porn.
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