so that wasnt chicken after all
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
