all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
