I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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