My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Actions speak louder than pants.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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