I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
