so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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